Review Yo Mada: Ettenio Moisture Infusion Deep Penetrating Conditioner Review

Fear, Limits and Depression

Summer is here and guess who's on a break? This guy! Exams are done, no more assignments (for now) and I can put my feet up and relax. (say relax slowly) I've been home for about a week and indeed I haven't done anything much. But, one thing is apparent my mind is not on a vacation. With nothing to do it becomes almost mandatory for one to think about everything. Last summer I had done my self diagnosis that I was struggling with depression and sought to drown myself into doing work for the blog. Now back to this time I am striving not to be drawn into it once more. Nevertheless, the last few days my mind has been plagued with my shortcomings, fears and the goals I hadn't been placing any effort into.

Kurly Feature: Elvy Soltau

Selflessly: Growth

Original Piece: Forever being Renewed

Let's just say it's a condition
Standing here along these behavioural walls
kneeling up with a display of comfort but supposedly restrained.
Each day I meet a blank slate that thinks little of his or herself and I remember; myself.
Remember the days and nights of the marriage held by me and him
How he constricted and ruled me has his puppet
A mere slave to his darkness, yet I was uncomfortably contempt
Early, early deprived of innocence and the rites of fatherhood.
Witness of splattered blood, yells more screams that kept my dreams sweet.

Hol Mi Close

 I haven’t written a Hol Mi Close post in a while and lately I’ve been caught up in stresses and in the inability to find something exciting or interesting to say. Most of you should know I’m in my second year in university and it has been a struggle. But this semester seemed to be the most stressful of the two previous semesters. I mentioned some time or the other that I made a change from psychology and I’m now pursuing teaching. However, the transition was difficult and still is no matter how I try to indulge myself in it. I found myself not performing has I used to or how I should have been. I spent time mourning over my decision. I moved from my old apartment and got another roommate. I thought we could never live together, much less become close friends. Turned out we were quite the same in numerous ways. I suppressed a lot of my problems and slowly they were causing me breakdowns more than I could manage. I found myself becoming bulimic but it wasn’t a continuous practice. It was those varying moments were I felt that I could not hold up anymore. But it was on of those nights in the bathroom that I asked myself what does God think of what I'm doing. How can I try to be an inspiration or example to others when I find the unhealthy roots to becoming healthy?

Original Piece: Never stolen but taken Home

                                               

Death has a time to steal us away, steal us and carry us away

But one who was molded and shaped in Christ’s divine was never stolen, but simply taken home.

Here on this day, our eyes and hearts are flushed with tears for a life of which is seen as gone

But smile on, as her spirit is still alive, she’s elevated, gently uplifted in the Father’s hand.

Selflessly: In the eyes of the beholder

Have you ever had all the thoughts in your head with little or no way to express? As though you can't get the thoughts out? It's almost has though they are stuck in storage. This happens to me ever so often. On to the purpose of this post.

Lately, I've been taking pictures and having my picture taken and examining myself. I looked at a few of the photos and thought; that girl can be anything that she desires to be. But, stepping back into myself I couldn't cultivate the thought. My mind was puzzled at my very own actions. It almost appears that I see more potential in the girl within the pictures than the real individual.

Library Finds

As you all might know from my Hol Mi Close post, I recently got summer employment. This is my first official job; most, if not all of the work I've ever done has been volunteerism. Currently, I work in a library providing assistance in summer school and other duties. While passing time I found a book with a collection of Marcus Garvey's quotes, so here we go.

Marcus Garvey said
Compiled and edited by Ken Jones
In the table of contents there is a variety of topics the quotes are centered around below are the few I chose.

Black Beauty
"Beauty, virtue and goodness are the exculsive attributes of no one race. All humanity have their shortcomings, hence no statement of mine, at any time, must be interpreted as a wholesale praise of, or attack upon any race, people or creed."
Marcus Garvey

Selflessly: Entry 2

Selflessly

I wonder what it is about June that has bloggers breaking skeletons and getting all serious. +Shanique Roca got me all serious with her back to back selfless entries. Has the evening started to die down I contemplated; after my Hol Mi Close entry and Self Destruction what do I come with after all this. I tried to write an informative article but thought realistically and figured I wouldn't have completed it in time to post today. Yesterday morning when I went to bed I couldn't resist thinking about my self destruction post. I was man enough to share my entry on instagram and twitter but then reality farted in my face and I started to question the consequences of my revelation. After my devotion yesterday morning I saw that I had received very good feedback from the post. wipes sweat from forehead* But I've also realized that possibly I hadn't totally kissed the sorrows of my past goodbye. I randomly decided to read Philippians 3 before going to bed yesterday morning and verse 13 caught my eye.

Original Piece: Before I Self Destruct

Before I self destruct, I must thank you for the virtue of 

which you fondled with.

Your incompetence of being an old man got the best of you and here you are trying;

a child's virtue

How proud you must feel of this victory tremendous

Not yet a woman but you boast of your flirtation with her clitoris

Embraced her with hands afflicted with darkness and dirtiness.

But, before I self destruct here's her mistrust

Gained access into her life, cloaked her like a butterfly, sang her a lullaby and rockabye has your hands accidently said hello, to her innocent virtue.

Engaged ignition, engrossed in confusion as she set her time for a mentally malfunctioned distribution.

Hol Mi Close

Poetic Muse

Introduction to a Unbefriended Self

Protective Style: Empress hair with a touch of love

Hello Black History Month: Black Stains Sneak Peak

Transitioning Updates and Thank you

Hol Mi Close

For the new year I wanted to include these series of posts called Hol Mi Close; where I speak of certain struggles I've faced and even those to come. I figure this would be a way for you all to get personal with me.