Fear, Limits and Depression

Summer is here and guess who's on a break? This guy! Exams are done, no more assignments (for now) and I can put my feet up and relax. (say relax slowly) I've been home for about a week and indeed I haven't done anything much. But, one thing is apparent my mind is not on a vacation. With nothing to do it becomes almost mandatory for one to think about everything. Last summer I had done my self diagnosis that I was struggling with depression and sought to drown myself into doing work for the blog. Now back to this time I am striving not to be drawn into it once more. Nevertheless, the last few days my mind has been plagued with my shortcomings, fears and the goals I hadn't been placing any effort into.

Original Piece: Forever being Renewed

Let's just say it's a condition
Standing here along these behavioural walls
kneeling up with a display of comfort but supposedly restrained.
Each day I meet a blank slate that thinks little of his or herself and I remember; myself.
Remember the days and nights of the marriage held by me and him
How he constricted and ruled me has his puppet
A mere slave to his darkness, yet I was uncomfortably contempt
Early, early deprived of innocence and the rites of fatherhood.
Witness of splattered blood, yells more screams that kept my dreams sweet.

Dear God

So how do I begin this?

Selflessly: Working on Perfection bombarded by "Flaws"

A large quantity of my life was spent pondering upon my real purpose in life. I know I'm destined for greatness, I know I'm no ordinary individual yet I still ponder upon my instructed purpose. One day while browsing through Encarta I found the word Psychology and immediately found myself intrigued by the term. That very night eyes stapled to the computer screen I mentally concluded I wanted to be a Psychologist. By the time I was fourteen I was already participating in assessing and answering sociological and psychological questions on Yahoo answers. I had found my calling, a destiny as a matter of fact, my destiny. I had countless encounters with friends and schoolmates who didn't truly know what field they wanted to pursue for the rest of their lives. I'd stand or sit there in absolute confusion as to how or why they hadn't figured that situation out. I was sad for them. But thankful that I knew what I wanted to do.

Hol Mi Close

For the last few months I've been irritated, frustrated, confused and angry. The decision of what to do as a career choice was really getting to me and I was almost completely fed up. One minute it would appear as though I was closer to the designated choice and then something happened to bring me back to the state of confusion. If you saw my quick Hilow then as noted you would have seen that I wasn't doing so well. I believe it was all the stress I was under that caused it.