Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Hol Mi Close

In my previous Hol Mi Close entry I told you guys that I passed six of eight subjects which I did in high school. But I realized that I never highlighted which subjects I failed. (sigh no guts, no glory) I failed Mathematics and Geography.

 A few months later that year I started pre-university (sixth form) at a school that I thought I "hated" and my mom constantly nagged me about resitting Mathematics. I was good with words, found all the excuses to say but mommy still wouldn't back down. She did that for a whole year and it finally clicked and I contemplated pursuing CSEC Mathematics. I started classes in my second year of sixth form and the exam was scheduled for May 2012. I was afraid and embarrassed, one, for being in a class with students younger than I was and two because I hadn't kept abreast with the material I learnt in fifth form back at my old school. It was hard, It was stressful, painful and most of all my mind was clouded with doubt. I can't pass this, I might just end up with a grade even more painful than the first. Every class my teacher would count down the days and I'd silently tremble in my stomach. May 18, 2012 I woke up and prepared myself for school. I got to school before the exam begun, but found it almost impossible to find my examination seat. Myself and a fellow classmate were running, looking in every class to find our seats. We eventually found it and by now I was fully masked in sweat. The papers had already been given out and my heart leaped at the sight. I got to my seat, received my paper and attempted to begin. But my hands were trembling, heart racing and I fought to catch a breathe. I started to panic with tears ready to overflow, I suddenly rested my pen on the desk and looked at everyone else while they worked. Placed my head on the desk and I prayed. I took up my pen, opened the booklet and found that some questions didn't look so hard anymore. I believe I was the last to leave the exam room that day.

I did three CAPE (Caribbean Advanced Proficiency Examination) subjects and one CSEC (Caribbean Secondary Examination Certificate). The results were uploaded online and I wanted to check it but then again didn't want to see it. My brother encouraged me to man up and check it. A few days later I did and screamed at the results. I PASSED... I thought it was a dream and couldn't envisage what I had seen. I thank God for all the blessings he has bestowed unto me, funny enough the devil saw me trying and again tried to tear me down. I am strong, I am loved, I am saved and clothed with grace.
Believe in Him