I haven’t written a Hol Mi Close post in a while and lately I’ve been caught up in stresses and in the inability to find something exciting or interesting to say. Most of you should know I’m in my second year in university and it has been a struggle. But this semester seemed to be the most stressful of the two previous semesters. I mentioned some time or the other that I made a change from psychology and I’m now pursuing teaching. However, the transition was difficult and still is no matter how I try to indulge myself in it. I found myself not performing has I used to or how I should have been. I spent time mourning over my decision. I moved from my old apartment and got another roommate. I thought we could never live together, much less become close friends. Turned out we were quite the same in numerous ways. I suppressed a lot of my problems and slowly they were causing me breakdowns more than I could manage. I found myself becoming bulimic but it wasn’t a continuous practice. It was those varying moments were I felt that I could not hold up anymore. But it was on of those nights in the bathroom that I asked myself what does God think of what I'm doing. How can I try to be an inspiration or example to others when I find the unhealthy roots to becoming healthy?
I am an honour roll student and each day I feel overwhelmed and pressured with burdens of how this transition will affect my current progress. I started finals on Wednesday and I'm fighting to convince myself to that I am not a failure, or a weakling to my struggles. I've been hit hard this semester and I know that God has no intention rather than good for me. So I write this has a quick update to you all and for myself. This is a testimony to come that all my circumstances and struggles at this present time are mere boosters to the victory at the end of this semester. To tell you how my bulimia started is a hard task, has I don't know quite myself. But I'm determined that the tricks that the devil has played on my mind are no longer present. I'm holding fast through this trying journey.
Being hopeful even in times of hopelessness
God Bless you